BEST OC EVARRR!
by chibigurl305
Summary: Mary Sue parody. Includes cliches, long-ass names, Uchiha-cliche, Sakura-bashing and much much more packed into one annoying OC. Please tell me if there is a more Sue-ish Mary Sue than this one, muwahahaha!


**PREPARE FOR THE UNLTIMATE MARY SUE!**

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><p>Kawaii-desu Neko Dreamboat Miku Danger Uchiha was a miserable, but beautiful child. She was a devastatingly beautiful thing, but a wilting flower. A flower wilting… <em>out of pained love!<em>

It all started… when she was born.

All the sources of the world decided to make a perfect being, on earth- a goddess in human form.

So they formed a plan to make this girl (Y'know, because people can only be girls. ITS SCIENCE, DUHR!), but however, something went horribly, horribly, horribly, horribly, horribly, horribly, horribly wrong.

The people in her village where she was born were all murdered by Orochimaru tragically, moments before she graced the world with her birth. Her parents died protecting her perfect existence, but luckily she was safe under rubble from the attacks and remained unfound by Orochimaru.

Not much later, the Hidden Leaf leaders came to acess the damage of the Village, the Village Hidden within the Sue. The cold heart of Sasuke's father was melted when his eyes landed on Kawaii-desu's still body, still wrapped in a blanket. Without hesitation, he brought the mysterious baby home to love, admire and cherish. Automatically.

It was evident to her two brothers, Itachi and Sasuke, that she was the most beautiful girl in the Hidden Leaf- scratch that- most beautiful _ninja_ in the entire Ninja Nation. They knew this when they first saw her, or more specially, when they first meet.

The day she was brought to the Uchiha complex, she opened her eyes (AN: don't you dare say anything about the medical impossibility of that, Mary Sue fics don't even have a point, unlike mine, so logic should be the least of your worries!) to reveal, amethyst, yet shaphire, yet opal, yet water-like, yet ttly beautiful, yet emerald, yet sky-like eyes with diamond-like shimmering, glittering, glistening _**beauty!**_

When both Uchiha brothers laid eyes on her for the first time, they felt love greater than any love that has ever been felt before!1 They vowed to protect their most loved and beautiful sibling- and most important in plot relativity also.

Kawaii-desu's eyes also had a pearly quality to them- the gods blessed this one girl so much, he decided to give her byakugan addition to the shanningan she was born with, out-powering Itachi before she could even speak.

Neither her brothers or anyone else was jealous or questioned the logic behind her powers or her strange name (AN: neither should you lol), because she would grow to be beautiful, kind, loving, sweet, cool, awesome, gorgeous, generous, sweet, sexy, smart, intelligent, and all around _perfect_.

She even had perfect clothes- leather bikini top (ta sho off hr dubl dees!) and sexy, scandalous short shorts. And high heels, because every little girl wears sexy high heels. Everyone only loved Mar- I mean, Kawaii-desu that much more because of that.

There was only one person who would ever dare to question Kawaii-desu's perfection- that pink haired bitch Sakura who obviously shouldn't have ever been introduced into this show. I mean, she's threatening Kawaii-desu's _DESTINY_ to be with Sasuke-kun!1 D:

(AN, again: Oh noes spoilerz 4 da res of dis story!1!)

But Sasuke had an (ir)rational hatred towards Sakura, and so bullied her to tears, beat the living crap out of her, and then killed her. No one in the Hidden Leaf really minded. Especially Naruto, who loved Kawaii-desu waaay more than Sakura anyway.

In fact EVERYONE loved Kawaii-desu with all of their souls. It didn't matter to Sasuke or Itachi (AN: btw Kawaii-desu kept Itachi from killing his clan, I'm too lazy to make a Mary Sue fight scene. I'll leave it to your imaginations) that it practically incest because they was raised together as a family! No, of course not- there is no limit to LOOOOVE!11

As she was beating handsome men off her body with a stick, Orochimaru decided to curse Kawaii-desu with the… TEN-TAILED BEAST, THE IRON ROSE WOLF! (Wich is totes the sexiest and most pwrful of all da monster thingies!)

The Akatsuki came after Kawaii-desu, but then all the Akatsuki members fall in love with Kawaii-desu! AT FIRST SIGHT TOO! AIN'T THAT JUST SO ORIGINAL, NOT LAZY AND TOTALLY NOT OVER-DONE!1

Kawaii-desu, being the strongest ninja to ever live, fought against the entire Akatsuki at once. And won. Under the time for one episode. She also made time to smex them all too.

Here the sex scene: he put his sex in her sex and they moaned together. Then came at the same time.

Now that you're all smexed-up by that ToTaLlY HaWT sex scene, let's get to the good part, ne?

Mary S- I mean Kawaii-desu (AN: doesn't Kawaii-desu mean the same thing as Mary Sue? Oh well) lifted her arms as Pein was going to kill Naruto, unleashed her magestic, glittering, glistening Sue-powers that poured from every inch of her body, and saved everyone. She also used her amazing healing powers to bring back every good character who died. Expect Sakura, because she obviously deserves death.

Everyone gave nothing but praise to Kawaii-desu, and she had lots of sex with hot bishies.

TEH END, LYK TOTES!

(AN: if any of you have actually paid attention to this story, or kept your eyes on the screen page as you vomited, you will realize that this story completely ditched the original 'plot' of 'tragic death' and 'angst' that it said in the very beginning. For most of you, this has gone right over your head. If you have noticed this, _shame on you_! Don't you know reading Mary Sue fics causes brain cancer and other illnesses including severe to moderate birth defects on pregnant woman and severe to mild ignorance in adolescents?)

(AN: [continued] Stay safe, and avoid a Fanfiction with signs of Mary Sues! Of course, there are beautifully written OC fics out there, but they're damn hard to find. Please tell me any good OC fics out there, please. Despite everything this fanfic stands for, I really like OCs. And for laughs, give me links to the bad ones too, lol.)

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><p><strong>Author's Notes:<strong>

**_HA!_ MY MARY SUE BEATS ALL OF THE MARY SUES ON FANFICTION! :D**

**Sorry that I couldn't reach almost all of Mary Sue traits by adding horrible grammar. I just can't do that to myself, y'know? **

**So… IS there a bigger Sue out there than Kawaii-desu?**

**(I hope not. I really do.)**


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